The best way to predict the future is to think about what frightens you. The problem with fear is that it tends to be bounded by what’s actually possible; as we grow older, our imaginations seem to develop artificial caps that limit our ideas to fears that are reasonably achievable in the short term. But who cares what is reasonable? Here’s what I fear.

I’m afraid of disease, and mostly I am afraid of dying because of a disease.

I’m afraid of being fat.

I’m afraid of flying.

I’m afraid that the abundance of food in my refridgerator will decompose before I get to eat it.

I’m afraid of people in far-away lands. They aren’t as good as people who live in my neighborhood.

I’m afraid of doctors, and I’m afraid the human body might not be a totally predictable and understandable machine.

I’m not afraid of unmanned flying drones delivering a sandwich to me.

I’m afraid that even though I...

Dustin Curtis is the proprietor of Svbtle, the “magazine” I’m swiftly propelling over a long-bodied marine fish. One of the benefits of running your own online magazine is that you can stick whatever you want on the front page. And in this case, Dustin stuck this essay on the front page.

In essence, it’s an essay about how using Twitter makes him dumber and ruins his ability to write essays. And it’s hard to argue with the results, because the essay is terrible. However, I don’t think Dustin’s bad writing was caused by Twitter and his 7,742 tweets on the service.

If Twitter truly ruined the will and ability of writers to communicate longer thoughts, then why are so many fantastic writers using Twitter? Has Rian Johnson’s quality of output decreased since he joined Twitter in 2009 (14,076 tweets)? (Hint: No, he wrote and directed LOOPER in that period.) Has Joe Hill forgotten how to...

Well, that’s it folks… Fonzie is strapping on his waterskis, and Richie Cunningham is revving the speedboat engine. SVBTLE must be determined to jump the shark because they just invited me to their exclusive “magazine.”

Haven’t they seen my first (and currently only) post on Medium?
Haven’t they seen me troll and torment One Direction fans on Twitter?
Are they unfamiliar with my novelty Twitter account @TeenGirlNWord?

I can only assume that SVBTLE saw that I produced some movies and invested in some companies, and they think this makes me legitimate. I am not legitimate. I am the ramp that’s going to rocket SVBTLE over the stock footage shark.

Welcome to my new blog.